at least I have never been the office Cinderella...
... and not made it to the ball (this is actually a rather sad At Least I have Never)
A friend of mine spent the best part of a year setting up a new initiative at work. It was a very worthwhile cause, basically providing support for people who are being bullied/victimised. It involved a lot of work and hours of essentially counselling very distressed people who rang up wanting to share their stories and asking for help.
And then - excitement! The initiative was nominated for an award and the boss said the company would get a table at the glitzy awards ceremony. After all that work, and all that emotion, my friend thought it was a well deserved treat. So she patiently awaited an email giving details about the night.
She waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The email never came. On the day of the ceremony, the rest of her office dusted down their tuxedos and little black dresses and disappeared en masse to the awards ceremony without her.
The next day, when she came in, there was a mini bottle of cheap champagne on her desk from the depths of a colleague's goody bag.
Bastards. At least I've never had that.
A friend of mine spent the best part of a year setting up a new initiative at work. It was a very worthwhile cause, basically providing support for people who are being bullied/victimised. It involved a lot of work and hours of essentially counselling very distressed people who rang up wanting to share their stories and asking for help.
And then - excitement! The initiative was nominated for an award and the boss said the company would get a table at the glitzy awards ceremony. After all that work, and all that emotion, my friend thought it was a well deserved treat. So she patiently awaited an email giving details about the night.
She waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The email never came. On the day of the ceremony, the rest of her office dusted down their tuxedos and little black dresses and disappeared en masse to the awards ceremony without her.
The next day, when she came in, there was a mini bottle of cheap champagne on her desk from the depths of a colleague's goody bag.
Bastards. At least I've never had that.
posted by zuzula @ 7:19 AM
3 Comments:
At 5:37 PM,
shitfaced said…
That's an outrage! I hope she spread Ebola around the office after. I would have.
At least I have never given my old clothing to my Sister, who is a lesser celebrity in Australia. She is also somewhat bigger than me. I am allegedly an Actress, although appearing on film and reading lines and having make-up covering dishpan hands does not an actress make in everyone's book. My sister takes these clothes to a high-end secondhand store, which essentially recycles the clothes of Sydney's rich and famous (and surprisingly smelly) 'A-list'. Neither my sister or I check any of the pockets. My sister takes the donation to the shop while I'm visiting Sydney quite publically. The staff at the store think "Hmm, these are too small to be Famous Actress's Sister's, so they must be Famous Actress's."
As the staff sort through the Baleciagas, Lanvins and the like, some medication is found in one of the jacket pockets. Rather than casually throw the meds in the bin, the naturally curious staff get on to Google. The medication treats genital herpes. Someone must have asked Famous Actress some time back: "Are you gonna go my way?" The other possibility is Famous Actress's Stark Raving Mad Ex-Husband, but let's face it, back in the 80s Famous Actress wasn't known to keep her knees together. Dead calm she wasn't. Days of thunder, they were.
Fast forward some six or so months. Famous Actress's Stark Raving Mad Ex-Husband is telling the world post-natal depression doesn't exist and is jumping on couches raving about puppet wife-to-be, who develops the biggest fucken coldsore you've ever seen about two weeks after the two are brought together by a 'church'. (Church believes aliens brought humans to earth, or some such rot.) Coldsore is widely publicised as 'pash-rash'. You don't want to look, but you can't look away, either.
At least I have never done that.
At 5:51 PM,
shitfaced said…
I've just read 'bad judgement call' and soiled my pants, nearly. Who runs water into the condom?!! For revenge, you should have spent the next three hours in the shower, crying. Let me guess, instead of family jewels, he had three balls? I've had two of those (people), one of them also came with an obsessive compulsive disorder. The man had his entire coffee table covered in piles of coins of even height. Oh, how I longed to tip the table, just to see his reaction. It would have been similar to my reaction when I put my hand down there. The man, around 30, hadn't gone through puberty! I felt like a bloody pedophile except I was some ten years younger than him!
One wonders what kind of conversations these people have with their friends about sex. "Oh yes, and then I checked the condom with water..."
At 2:39 AM,
zuzula said…
Shitfaced: now who could you possibly be talking about? ;) I actually hadn't heard that story - is that how the whole herpes thing came about? and such a good point about the husband's new squeeze. I forgot about that coldsore. After seeing that I almost thought the scientologists are right, there are aliens out there.
And re the bad judgement call... i dined out on that story for about a year. but I still had to suffer it first!
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