at least i have never tried to crap on my girlfriend's parents' heads
At least I have never... gone to a party with my (then) girlfriend where we both get really rather mashed up. Then we go back to her parents house to sleep as it's nearby and they knew me quite well anyway.
But... I wake up in the wee hours desparate for the toilet. Slightly confused, I head for what looks like a bathroom but is in fact just a shower room - no WC within. My girlfriend wakes up to find me squatting over the bathroom scales. She tries to gently convince me that I'm not actually anywhere near the toilet but I'm not having it. Eventually she manages to lead me out of the shower room towards the toilet, passing the (open) door to her parents bedroom, where they are both sleeping, en route. At that point I decide that their room must be the toilet and try to push past her, all 6ft 4 and 16 stone of me. Girlfriend is hanging on to the doorframe with her fingernails trying not to let me past. Eventually she manages to throw me down the corridor into the bathroom which actually does have a toilet... where I immediately lock the door and take a shit in the kitty litter on the floor.
God, I've dated some idiots in my time.
But... I wake up in the wee hours desparate for the toilet. Slightly confused, I head for what looks like a bathroom but is in fact just a shower room - no WC within. My girlfriend wakes up to find me squatting over the bathroom scales. She tries to gently convince me that I'm not actually anywhere near the toilet but I'm not having it. Eventually she manages to lead me out of the shower room towards the toilet, passing the (open) door to her parents bedroom, where they are both sleeping, en route. At that point I decide that their room must be the toilet and try to push past her, all 6ft 4 and 16 stone of me. Girlfriend is hanging on to the doorframe with her fingernails trying not to let me past. Eventually she manages to throw me down the corridor into the bathroom which actually does have a toilet... where I immediately lock the door and take a shit in the kitty litter on the floor.
God, I've dated some idiots in my time.
posted by zuzula @ 3:48 AM
6 Comments:
At 2:53 PM,
shitfaced said…
This is how I got named.
At 12:14 PM,
george said…
At least I have never gotten so trashed one night I picked up someone at a club, went back to their house. Desperately needed to use the bathroom and went to relieve my aching bladder. My shag for the night told me where her room was and on the return walked into my pick-up's room and proceeded to get fresh with the body in the bed. Once completed what I came for, went for 'post trash sex ciggy' and found out that it was my shags flat-mate, she was so trashed realised that I wasn't her partner and he was so slushed he was on the couch sleeping it off. Flat-mate felt so violated and was so pissed off (as you would be), threw me into the street barely dressed, screaming and cussin' all the while me trying to apologise. The next thing I knew, I was being arrested on rape charges. At least I have never done that, but I know someone who knows someone who has. I'm still wondering how it all went down in court, and how the hell you wouldn't be able to tell that is wasn't your partner?
At 4:49 AM,
Ak-Man said…
Alcohol is serious business!
When you mix it with someone else's home, your bound to get a good story out of it!
At 9:31 PM,
fake adult said…
This site has too many of those stories...
At 8:19 AM,
zuzula said…
without alcohol, this blog wouldn't exist
At 5:15 AM,
Billy said…
Bloody briliant!
Post a Comment
<< Home