At least I have never

The home of schadenfreude, where you can take comfort in the fact that no matter what your most hideously embarrassing moment was, there is always something worse that has happened to someone else and you can rest safe in the knowledge that at least you have never done that.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

the virgin sacrifice

At least I've never been a single mum in my late thirties, with a 15-year-old son. We live in a small rural town, and so, because I'm a good mother with high hopes for my son, I send him away to a bigger town with a better school. My son goes to live with a friend of mine, also a woman in her late thirties. My hopes and dreams for my son are crushed when my friend proceeds to have an affair with him, and eventually falls pregnant. She has just had the baby, and the father has just turned 17.

At least I have never done that. And if I ever face the situation, I will be very wary of friends looking to deflower my offspring.

posted by fake adult @ 5:11 PM  

9 Comments:

  • At 6:05 AM, Blogger She de la Handbag said…

    Well ... I suppose its all inevitable really, what with a 15 year old youth obviously being full of charm and grace ... one night his witty repartee and emotional maturity become clear to her during the intervals of him beating up smackwhores on his xbox ... they begin a intense emotional relationship which leads to physical intimacy ... after much discussion they decide they are ready to bring a child into their relationship and embark upon this lifetime commitment together.

    Or more likely one can of Diamond White too many whilst watching Big Brother ...

     

  • At 2:28 PM, Blogger fake adult said…

    ...or while she's helping him with homework...

    eewww

     

  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger george said…

    CHOICE!

     

  • At 8:17 PM, Blogger Tiny Tones said…

    Call me a romantic old fool, but I like to think that, as he was only 15 at the time, he probably came before they could even open the condom packet.

     

  • At 4:41 AM, Blogger fake adult said…

    If he had time to insert, they had time to open the condom packet.

    Or, perhaps she collected the spill (presuming there was one) and did a bit of turkey basting.

     

  • At 6:54 AM, Blogger zuzula said…

    yuck. i've heard the phrase 'lock up your daughters' but didn't realise it worked both ways!

     

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger She de la Handbag said…

    Alas I think the lack of the aforementionned prophylactic was part of the problem ...

     

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger She de la Handbag said…

    PS Dear Tiny Tony,
    Please may I be invited to your blog. Please may I thank you please. xx

     

  • At 11:28 AM, Blogger She de la Handbag said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     

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