it's much more obvious as a solo artist

I posted this at my place to begin with, but of course it belongs here. Except I can't say 'At least I've never tumbled down a flight of stairs in heels' because I did, in late 1993. Matters weren't helped by discovering that the person at the bottom of the stairs of this nightclub was an ex from a painful break-up six months earlier.

My thoughts are with you, B. Sucked in!

not couture

At least I have never been the buyer for a chain of luxury designer clothing stores, stocking the best labels in the world. Despite my repulsive, virulent personality, I've managed to wrangle my way into this position, and even prospered in the job. After a couple of really good years and continued support and approval from the owner, my confidence regarding my buying abilities builds to the point where during one buying trip I lose all common sense and perspective, not to mention track of actual figures. By the end of my rampage, I've committed the company, amongst other things, to dozens of pairs of 'sandals' that in actual fact look like the mongrel offspring of a diaper and a Japanese geta sandal, and make the wearer look absolutely bonkers. I mean, only Bjork could get away with these things, and only if she was wearing a crochet toilet roll cover as a hat. All in all, I've managed to go $900.000 over budget. I lose my job and for the next year I'm only able to secure miscellaneous freelance work.

At least I have never done that. But all this has made me believe in karma.

saucy pics

At least i have never got into a sexy bit of text sex at work with an on/off lover (not from same work) - which goes on and on until the point where on/off lover challenges me to send him a pic of my, ahem, lady garden, within the next half an hour. Cue me, a very senior manager, in the only ladies cubicle in the entire organisation, pencil skirt down, silk blouse up, trying desperately to take a photo of said minge that's flattering and doesn't reveal that I am really overdue for a wax. With my colleagues politely approaching the locked door at all times with little 'um... just wondered what you want to do about Important Deal X and whether you need to speak to Mr Y in Japan before he leaves for the day?' type requests. And me all the while, trying to be oh-so-busy-and-important, but really only focused on taking a good pic of - myself.

At least I've never done that. But I love the person who did.